protecting you
by melmel12129
Summary: It was unforgivable to him but he couldn't help but ask for her forgiveness anyways. /nalu tragedy


**^^ Hi guys! I'm back with a Lucy deathfic! **

**It's been a while since I've posted a Fairy Tail oneshot. And it's been awhile since a deathfic. (death-shot I guess) **

**I read some really good fics lately and realized how much I need to get better. But oh well - this one's not edited as much as the other one - was too lazy - but thanks to my friend Victoria for helping me with Lucy's death scene.**

**By the way, the cover was done by AmyJusta (go see her on deviantart, she's amazing) and I don't own it. (Just saying: I just took this off of Bing Images and didn't ask her so I'm putting this here so everyone will know it's her's)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail. ~nya**

**Enjoy~**

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"Fire Dragon's Roar!" Natsu opened his mouth and his typical burning whirlwind of fire spewed out, identical to that of a real dragon (_'Not that any of 'em had ever seen a dragon roar,'_ he thought).

To his surprise the offending mage (Gon? Gora? Go? He couldn't remember and didn't care anyways) pulled out an iron pot and _how the hell did that huge thing even fit in his pocket_? But he didn't really have to or want to worry about that because the deflected blast (off a huge iron pot that was nearly as tall as he was) flew straight over his head as he attempted to eat it right back up and – and towards Lucy?

"Luce – look out!" Natsu grinned and waved at her, expecting her to duck accordingly and have the blast hit the mage she was fighting herself (or rather, the mage Taurus was fighting). He should've eaten it, but oh well, this worked too).

The huge fireball blazed towards Lucy and Natsu's smile began to drop. "Lucy!" He called again, this time concerned.

He ran towards her and time began to slow. Natsu could see everything in slow motion – his feet moving towards Lucy – her turning around – the fireball speeding towards her – even the, "Eh? Na-" her lips and voice formed before the fire swallowed her whole.

Natsu stopped in his tracks, eyes widening as he took in her writhing body, unable to withstand the heat of flames like he could – twist in pain – and her mouth opened and the scream that she gave off tore at his heart. It hurt – not just his sensitive ears physically, but mentally, inside, to see her yell like that, in so much pain.

And she called for him – for him to save her, "NAAATSUUU!" her ear-piercing shriek hit the air but died as the fire took her life force away. Her last words – his name – still hoping for him to save her but it was too late and his fault and he could never forgive himself because it was _his fault_ and his thoughts were so scrambled right now they could fit in a huge run-on sentence but to summarize it up, '_Lucy's dead because of me.'_

His pupils shrunk and he rushed harder towards her, because maybe, _maybe _he could still save her (in his mind he knew it was impossible). He knew he'd never forgive himself if she died, if she died by _his flames_, _his fire_, _his magic_.He extinguished the flames, hastily stuffing them in his mouth but turned his head away, not bearing to watch as her lifeless body hit the floor.

"Lu…cy..." his voice shook. "It's my fault. I'm so," he gulped helplessly, raising one hand to wipe at his tears, "I'm so sorry."

His arm fell to his side like stone and he was frozen in place…unbelieving…uncaring…whatever happened to him now…he didn't care anymore.

Because it was definitely a dream. That was all it was…right? A good day gone wrong, he guessed, the typical storyline. So no, not a dream – a nightmare.

But if it was, truly, then he wanted to wake up. He shut his eyes tight and hoped to see the familiar setting of his best friend's apartment when he opened them again.

Nothing happened.

It was the same ravaged battlefield, the same bloody and war-torn body lay at his feet, unmoving and still.

She was still dead. **Lucy** was still dead and he realized that for once, nothing could change it; this wasn't future Lucy this was _Lucy_. There was a difference and he could tell. He looked at the mage who had killed her (although in his mind he kept repeating numbly, _'I killed her. I killed her.'_) without even a glare or look of contempt. The filth didn't even deserve it.

_He killed Lucy._

Lucy was _broken_. She was _dead_, and she was gone _forever_.

"_You killed her_," he snarled, words barely discernible, desperately trying to prove that it wasn't his fault it was _that bastard's _and no one knew the truth anyways but him. His fist alighted with the flame of one who's lost the closest person to him _twice in a row _and the mage on the receiving end of the blow looked absolutely terrified and he should've been because he knew he was losing his life today.

With a sickening crack the mage's neck snapped but Erza pulled Natsu back as he attempted to set the man's body on fire.

"This isn't like you…Natsu," Erza's voice trembled, and upon looking closer, Natsu could see that she was crying as well.

Natsu turned on what he had done with an ashen pale face. "I…I killed someone? I'm a murderer now…" he laughed softly. "A murderer…" Gray caught him as he blacked out but no one noticed the look of pity (and pain) on Gray's face as well.

* * *

The funeral was set on Monday, July first. Lucy's birthday. Natsu recovered enough to attend (_he had to _he told himself because it was his fault in the first place although everyone tried to convince him it wasn't) but stayed in the back, not daring to look in anyone's eyes lest they see the red rims and tears in the corner of his eyes. He didn't look at the alabaster white casket either – he was afraid in his anger he'd end up destroying something again.

He couldn't even watch as they lowered the casket into the hole the gravediggers had dug earlier because _goddamnit that was Lucy his best friend in there _and she wouldn't ever move again. She'd be trapped under the ground and never see the light for eternity.

Fairy Tail united behind a single gravestone – and they all lifted their finger into their air in one fluid movement. _We'll watch over you Lucy…so don't you worry. _Natsu was already standing but he shakily raised his hand anyways. Watching over her? He'd already failed when she'd died under his watch…

His last memory of Lucy was of her covered with blood, clothes torn, face twisted into a grimace of pain – and before he could realize it, he was lunging forward at the casket and all heads turned to face him. "_Natsu…_" Erza whimpered (and it was so unlike her) and choked down the tears that were threatening to come forth because he'd cried enough and wasn't going to cry when seeing Lucy off.

Makarov moved to stop Natsu, but upon seeing the look on Natsu's face (no way to describe it but _dead_) he moved aside. He trusted Natsu – he wouldn't ruin Lucy's funeral.

Natsu lifted the cover of the casket and set it aside gently. "Luce…" he whispered and it echoed with the wind. She'd been cleaned off and beautified before she had been set in the box and she just looked like she was asleep. Her wounds were bandaged like they would normally be and she was wearing her normal clothes. She didn't have makeup on – Lucy had never needed makeup to look pretty. Her celestial keys hung by her side because Lucy was the best master they'd ever have and if she died they'd "die" with them (essentially meaning they'd never come out again).

So this was a grave for two Fairy Tail members – Lucy and Loke, both.

He covered the white casket again and next set his sights on her gravestone. It was a beautiful piece of stone carving but somehow it didn't seem right so Natsu added his own touch – a little scratch there and a burnt stone (was that even possible? some wondered) there because nothing was perfect and Lucy certainly wasn't either but that's what Natsu loved so much about her.

Natsu stood up and faced the crowd. Gulping once, he took a step forward and began speaking. Everything he had and hadn't wanted to say came out then.

"Lucy is my best friend." He started with that sentence. "I met her in Harjeon while on a mission and destroying buildings." A few people weakly chuckled and shook their heads in memory of his destructive ways. "She treated me to lunch after I saved her from a bastard that pretended to be Igneel. Later, he falsely claimed to be from Fairy Tail and almost stole Luce away on a slave ship, but I saved her. And in a sense, she saved me."

Natsu smiled, looking at the sky as he remembered his motion sickness and the way Lucy used Aquarius to propel him back to shore. "After that, Lucy was horrified knowing she'd destroyed the whole port, but it was me - so what did she expect? I grabbed her hand and ran from the military - and led her to Fairy Tail. Since then, we were best friends." He swiped at his eyes, wiping away a few tears that threatened to fall. "We formed a team with Erza and Stripper," Gray shouted out a half baked insult back, "and I felt like we could do anything together. We were inseparable. Even Happy began to treat her like his mother." Happy, who was sitting in the front row looked down and nodded. "She was my best friend, she is my best friend. And I just wanted to say, before we send her off, that I love her. It's my fault that she's dead but I hope she'll forgive me. I love you, Luigi. I mean Lucy."

He walked towards the back again and everyone else clapped politely. Many were crying before they knew it - even Gajeel who felt a few tears trickle down his face before he grabbed Levy and used her hair to cover everyone's view of his unmanliness.

A few days later, Natsu visited her grave again, alone.

He'd sworn he'd always protect her, but now, looking at her gravestone, he realized it was too late.

Not even the tears he shed and his howl of rage to the heavens could bring her back now.

It was unforgivable to him but he couldn't help but ask for her forgiveness anyways.

There was no reply but the eerie sound of the wind whistling through the trees.

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_fin_

**How was it? I'll try and edit it and repost it later but no promises - I've got pending fics I need to write. **

**Poor Natsu. I couldn't find a good way to incorporate the lifting the finger in the air thing so forgive me if that part's not good.**

**Review & Review since you've read it already **

**Thanks**

**melmel12129**


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